Constantly reinventing.
I have found myself in a rut both personally and in my relationship. As a family, we have had to make many
sacrifices to get back on our feet and start our lives over. It seems that I have had to start over quite
a few times and I still have not got it right.
When I lost my job in 2009 I had no idea what I was going to do, but somehow
I got through it and was able to maintain my home and a so-so comfortable life
for my children. That was the first time
I had to start over.
The second time came when I finally called it quits with my children's
father after 5 years. It was then I
finally realized I needed to get the hell out of dodge if I were to ever truly
start over. At this time, I met the love
of my life and moved to Seattle; third times a charm? The point of moving to Seattle was to look
for work and go back to school and to just get away from my ex, who was NOT
making life easy post break up. After a
6 month lease, things did not work out how I planned and hoped with work,
school and the man I loved. I moved back
home to Shelton, to my parents’ house, to hell.
So, we are at the fourth try?
Hoping this was only going to be a temporary move, I continued to apply
for jobs in Seattle. Cody, the man I
loved, continued to be a part of my life and we forged on with that
relationship, growing closer and deciding to give living together another
try. This time we knew we HAD to be
working, not move and hope we find work.
Equally, we want to grow together and build a life and a family and it
is with this dream I moved to Marysville to stay with him and look for work.
Number 5.
I did find a job, finally! However,
I was laid off after 3 months and have since been in a rut full of depression, self-doubt
and a little teeny bit of pity. Slowly,
I am coming out of it as the reality of our situation keeps slapping me in the
face. Cody is so close to getting on
with an amazing company and us moving into a place is coming quick. I am excited to have a home of my own again,
to cook and clean, to decorate and break bread as a family at a real dining
room table.
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